As a woman, even I don’t understand women. I don’t pretend like I know everything about us because women are unpredictable time bombs. I hate to inform you, men, but you’re on your own. I can’t explain why women do certain things. I can only say that women need to stop certain behaviors. And yes, not all women do these things I am about to discuss, but we’d be lying if we said we didn’t know at least one female who does.
While women are said to be the fairer of the species, we’ve got some of the most malicious and vindictive individuals amongst our ranks. From grade school though college and even in my professional career, women have been manipulative for the sole purpose of breaking you mentally and emotionally. Listen ladies, we already have pressures from media, society and the opposite gender. We really don’t need to be tearing each other apart.
Ladies also like to obsess about their looks because society tells us to be these vain, insecure creatures. The new flavor of the month for body shaming seems to be about thigh gaps. If you have one, that’s great. If you don’t have one, that’s great too. Keep in mind that none of us have thigh gaps when we wear pencil skirts.
The newest wave of feminism, if I can even call it that, has members who demonize the entire male gender. Feminism shouldn’t be about female superiority but rather equality of both sexes. Not all men are evil. In fact, most men are pretty nice and all men have societal pressures just like women. If women could stop making everything about themselves for just a moment, maybe we could actually be taken seriously and make a difference. Sure, there are individual men who are worth demonizing, and by all means, go for it. Just don’t take down the entire male species for the acts of a few evil men.
Sometimes if we’re at a party and it’s getting too late for us, guys will want to walk us out. Just let them do this, ladies. It’s not a very safe world out there, and if there are guys who will take a few minutes to walk you to your car to make sure you get there safely, don’t take it for granted. Odds are, you’ve been having fun at your little shindig. Walking to your car is a great time for a stranger to catch you off guard, so the least you can do is let your guy friends escort you. Yes, I know you want to be a big, strong girl who can fend off would-be dangers, but most likely you won’t. Accept the kind gesture.
In relationships, all women can get a little insane from time to time. We’ve all done it and any woman who denies it, is a liar. There will be at least one instance where we throw out our better judgment completely and let the crazy hit full force. It happens. However, if a woman has to constantly check on her partner’s whereabouts, rummages through their belongings and screens their cell phone activity then that woman needs to take a breath and assess her situation. Relationships are built on trust and if a woman is dating someone she does not trust, move on. No one should have to be that neurotic about their partner’s activities.
Now this one goes along the lines of my first and third points. In the beginning, feminism was hoping to give women a choice. If a woman wanted to work, she could. If a woman wanted to be a stay-at-home mother, she could choose to do so. However, for some reason women are slamming other women who choose to be stay-at-home mothers. Is it such a crime for a woman to choose to raise her children? Wasn’t the fight about allowing women to choose what they wanted to do? Several friends of mine who are stay-at-home mothers constantly receive criticism and waves of negativity because they want to stay home with their children. They are taking the time to raise respected and productive members of our society, why is it such a crime?
Of course the same can be said in the choice to have kids or not debate. Women who have kids shame the women who don’t want kids. A woman can choose if she wants to start a family or not, and since the world is already overpopulated I don’t see how women who don’t want kids are negatively affecting anything. Now to the women who don’t want kids, don’t shame the women who do want or have children. Since you don’t like being told you’re wrong for not wanting kids, they won’t like it if you tell them they are wrong for having them.
As much as we like to think we aren’t these women, the truth is we’ve been these women at one point or another. We’ve shamed other women for their appearance or lifestyle. We’ve blamed men for our misfortunes or we lament that men don’t think we’re strong enough to protect ourselves. We’ve hurt other individuals and we’ve hurt ourselves with our words and actions. We aren’t saints, but we can stop the actions that make us devils.
Jessica Brown is the Barrow Journal’s award-winning staff photographer. Send comments about this column to picsbyjessica1@gmail.com.
