I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to want a child and not be able to have one. Children are everywhere, yet the love you have in your heart has no place to rest. Unfortunately, this is happening to one of my dearest friends.
Have you ever met someone for the first time that you knew you wanted to be friends with? This is how I felt the first time I met my friend Liz. She has one of those personalities that makes you feel at home.
Her kindness has no boundaries, and to top it off, she tells great stories.
Now she lives with her husband, Kent, in the foothills of Mariposa County, California on a four-acre property outside of Yosemite National Park. Kent is a fire geographer and works for Yosemite National Park, and he loves his job. Liz is a scientist and analyst for the Sierra Nevada mountain range. They are ready to grow their family, and they are trying to adopt a child through an open adoption.
In open adoption, the birthmother gets to choose the future parents for her unborn baby. If all parties feel they make a good match, the birthmother and adoptive parent(s) determine what their relationship will be once the baby arrives. They may only share photos, or they may visit one another several times a year. This agreement can evolve over the course of the child’s life.
I asked Liz and Kent why they chose open adoption, and they said, “We both felt that open adoption is the best path for our future child, the birthmother and us, and we feel it’s important for our child to know his or her birth family. He or she will understand that his or her birth family made the absolute best decision out of unconditional love.”
Liz and Kent both understand that deciding to give up a child is incredibly difficult, so they want potential birthmothers to get the resources they need when considering adoption. As Liz has written on her blog, “Family is what you make of it.” Knowing Liz personally, I have no doubt that a future birthmother will be welcomed into their family, if the birthmother would like to have a relationship with them.
As Liz explained to me, in open adoption, the adoptive parents typically have a website, blog and other social media outlets to get the word out that they are adopting. Liz and Kent have had their adoption agency website up and running for about seven months. Unfortunately, they haven’t had anyone contact them.
Waiting is, of course, the hardest part. Since a birthmother has to pick them, they have no idea if or when they’ll get picked. “The uncertainty makes this part of the adoption process emotionally difficult because you have no idea what the outcome will be,” Liz said.
She also explained that they could get a call at any moment from a birthmother telling them the baby is born and to come pick it up! Apparently, this isn’t uncommon, so they have to stay prepared.
While 50% of the clients do adopt within the first year of having their website go live, about 10% of the clients have been waiting more than two years and some much longer. A few have given up. Since Liz and Kent have been waiting for seven months without one e-mail, phone call or text message, they are hoping that they won’t end up in the latter group.
As her friend, I feel a bit helpless, but I can write a column and ask you, dear readers, to help spread the word. Share this column or Liz and Kent’s website around in your social circles or online networks even if you don’t think there’s anybody out there who needs the information. You never know whom they might know, and you might help a child find a wonderful home.
Liz and Kent’s website is at http://www.iheartadoption.org/users/knl2008, and their blog is at http://kentnlizadopting.wordpress.com/. And by the way, their agency is licensed in Georgia, so even though they could adopt from anywhere, the process to adopt from this state would be a little easier. Other states their agency is licensed in is California, Texas, Indiana and North Carolina.
Shelli Bond Pabis is a Winder resident and columnist for the Barrow Journal. You can visit her blog at www.mamaofletters.com or email her at writetospabis@gmail.com.
And comparing the adoption of a child to the adoption of a dog is pure ignorance.
Seriously, are you kidding me? Infertility affects over 6 million people in the U.S. For these people, starting a family isn't as simple as deciding to get pregnant and nine months later delivering a healthy baby. So, to call the couple in this article "spoiled yuppies" and then question why they aren't conceiving a child is cruel and absolutely unnecessary.