COLUMN: Homeschooling not the right choice for everyone

There have been reported incidents of abuse in homeschooling families, but surely most people can concur that homeschooling does not beget child abuse.

I believe that these have been isolated events, and, unfortunately, they make good fodder for critics of homeschooling.

There is another level to this, however. What about children who have well-intentioned, loving parents, but homeschooling may not be in their best interest? How can we possibly know or regulate the effects of homeschooling on all children? I don’t think we can do this any more than we can regulate the effects of public school on each individual child.

According to the Department of Education, there were an estimated 1.5 million children being homeschooled in the U.S. in 2007. This is an increase from an estimated 1.1 million in 2003. I imagine with such a huge number, there are bound to be some children who would be better off in school. It should not go unmentioned that there are many children in our public schools who would be better off somewhere else too.

I think it’s easy to target homeschooling as weird or undesirable because those who don’t do it know so little about it. Though it’s becoming more recognized, it’s still not mainstream.

I believe that most parents who homeschool do research about it, and they learn what might be considered the pitfalls to this kind of lifestyle (just take a look at all the articles, blogs, forums and advice on the web about homeschooling). I think most parents try to make sure their kids are getting everything they need. Whether a family homeschools or not, parents who are involved in their child’s education give them a huge step-up.

Honestly, I met a homeschooling family once who made me wonder if their kids were being too sheltered. They excelled academically, but I worried that the children might be behind in other ways. After I got to know them better, however, I realized that I might have judged them too quickly. The children were growing at their own pace, which I think is a huge benefit to homeschooling. As an outsider, it’s hard to say what is right for any other family besides my own.

Critics of homeschooling feel that parents can unfairly push their biases onto children, and that by not going to public school, children do not have the chance to be introduced to other worldviews. Perhaps this is a fair argument. After all, by going to school, children meet many people, and they have a chance to be instructed by many different teachers. At home, they only have their parents unless, of course, their parents make an effort to get their children involved in the community in other ways. I believe homeschooled students have the opportunity to meet more, various people of all ages than if they were in school everyday.

I also think that in public school, children can be introduced to many not-so-desirable views and that peer pressure can be so high, it can have a lasting, negative impact on students. Bullying is another problem. I know one homeschooler who was taken out of school because of bullying, and cases such as the college student who committed suicide last week because of cyber bullying are heart wrenching.

Also, don’t all parents hope that their children will carry on their traditions, beliefs and philosophies? Frankly, I think most children do grow up to share their parent’s views and that going to public school makes little difference. I do not think I began to “think outside the box” until after I entered college. There is also the ubiquitous theme in many stories about children who journey away from home yet find themselves coming back to the place they started.

As for the parent’s credentials, I do not think that more education necessarily makes any parent better equipped to homeschool, but I do believe that parents who homeschool should be willing and eager to learn right along with their children. Parents who are enthusiastic about learning, have a curiosity about the world, and who are willing to explore various venues and sources to round-out the child’s education, can homeschool.

Simply put, parents have a right to decide how to educate their children, and unless there are signs of abuse, I don’t think anyone has a right to interfere. Homeschooling is a lifestyle, and for it to work, it has to be mutually beneficial for the whole family. For the better or worse, I’m thankful that we live in a country where we all have the freedom to make these choices.

Shelli Bond Pabis is a Winder resident and columnist for the Barrow Journal. You can reach her at shelli@mamaofletters.com.